|Preparing for the now infamous and wildly popular|
"High Fructose Corn Syrup" parody.
|As lead singer of the rock band VAN PALIN.|
We, of course, rewrote Van Halen songs
to make them more wholesome and Republican.
"Rock out with your cross out!"
But -- and as you know, mine is a HUGE butt -- can you ride that fine line between hideous creature and haute couture? Can you serve up "Glamour Grandma," "Librarian Looker" or that oh-so-elusive "Cunty Clown?" It's difficult, but not impossible. Here are a few of my favorite looks that could possibly be misconstrued (look it up!) as "boring" but will no-doubt have people "boring" holes in you as they stare, slack-jawed in a trance!
Never underestimate the subtle power
of an apron and a home perm. Backstage
with the uber-talented Drew Droege
MEN DO MAKE PASSES AT WOMEN WHO WEAR GLASSES...
|Zaftig Jewess finding her light!|
Who cares if it's the interior dome
light of a 2002 Pontiac Grand Am!?
|Girl's Night Out! Because teaching "Black|
Studies" at the community college
can be stressful and she deserves to blow
off some steam at Happy Hour, goddamnit!
|It's a great time to be silver... and gold!|
|Anyone can rock The '80s...|
but can you rock a gal in her eighties!?
|Smart is sexy... So go fuck a scientist!|
EVERYTHING OLD IS NEW AGAIN!
|Giving Bea Arthur realness as Trixie in|
"Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver"
|Celebrating my birthday recently at Hamburger Mary's.|
Laugh all you want, but I did get a senior discount!
|You may think I look ancient, but check it out...|
I got several "pearl necklaces" that night!
|I call this look, "One foot in the grave|
and the other on a banana peel!"
PARDON ME, BUT WHAT KIND OF CLOWNDATION DO YOU WEAR?
|Serving up Southwestern New-Age White Trash...|
You just know she has a dream-catcher air freshener hanging
from the rearview mirror of her teal PT Cruiser!
|Tears of a clown: Is the circus is in town? |
Nope, it's just me, Bozo Beat!
|Honk honk! This is a look most people might|
try maybe once in a lifetime, but not me...
Laughter is the best medicine and
I can practically cure cancer, biotch!