Tuesday, March 29, 2011

OH FOR THE LOVE OF SHANGELA!

Shangela: True talent will always triumph over tarnished tinsel!


I have been doing drag for over twenty years.  I am what they call a "legend" -- which sounds rather lofty, but actually just means, "Wow! She's still alive!?" I have been in countless TV, film and theatrical projects -- working with people like Robert DeNiro, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Parker Posey. I have toured this fine country as the opening act for comedy icon Roseanne Barr. I have been lucky enough to have performed in Milan, Berlin and even Saskatoon, Canada! I've wowed unsuspecting audiences on cruise ships, at clothing-optional gay campgrounds in rural Georgia and even at a Sweet 16 party where I opened for T-Pain (seriously!). I also started a rock band, Dirty Sanchez, that landed a record deal, had a song featured on the campiest soap opera of all time ("Passions") and toured with My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult. Oh, and did I mention that I am a card-carrying member of the Writers Guild of America who has written TV, short films, countless magazine articles and/or interviews and material for the likes of Roseanne Barr, Rosie O'Donnell, Ross Mathews, Jennifer Coolidge, Patricia Arquette and more?  I'm not quite Bruce Vilanch, but honey, who is?


My point is this: When I give my two cents on anything drag-related, y'all better listen up because this bitch knows a thing or two -- or three!


As you may or may not know, the performer known as Shangela was told to "sashay away" on last night's episode of "RuPaul's Drag Race." I guess "sashay away" sounds better than "Get the fuck out, bitch!" and besides, that doesn't really go with Ru's "everybody say 'love'" shtick.  But I digress...


Yes, sassy and spunky Miss Shangela was kindly asked to pack up her wigs and frilly undergarments and hit the road. Now there are many people out there -- and quite a few on the show -- who do not seem to like Shangie (I made that up!) for many reasons. Most are surface-level things like she can't do her makeup very well, she can't style a wig to save her life or she cannot create a one-of-a-kind haute couture masterpiece out of office supplies or some other total bullshit that NEVER happens in real life! All of this may be true, but you know what Shangie (hmmm, does it work or not?) CAN do? She can get on stage and be funny and ENTERTAIN the crowd by doing more than just moving her motherfucking lips! She is a naturally entertaining person who can think on her feet and ENTERTAIN a crowd. Does she look like a supermodel? Perhaps not, but neither do I!


Fellow "Drag Race" contestant, Carmen Carrera aka "The Yawn", claimed that being beautiful was the most important thing about doing drag, and that the rest could be learned. To this I shout, "Bullshit!" It's the opposite, honey! Anyone can learn how to apply makeup. Twenty years ago my makeup was HORRIFIC (we are talking Sharpie eyebrows that could not be washed off -- and no, I am NOT joking!) and now I am famous for my sick motherfucking makeup, thankyouverymuch! And I do not do my own wigs -- no drag queens I know, including RuPaul, do their own wigs! I know it's complicated, but here's what you do: You walk into a wig store, pull out money and hand it to an Asian lady (or old school sistah, if you're lucky!) and they style the wig for you!  See how that works?


What you cannot learn is how to be a NATURALLY entertaining person who has a point of view. Models and porn stars should never do interviews -- who cares what they have to say? Just walk the runway while pouting or whip out your impressive manhood and grunt, "Suck it." And I feel the same way about most drag queens. I, on the other hand (and you had better believe there are gorgeous nails on that hand, honey!), am an ENTERTAINER! I am a naturally funny person who is as charming and amusing while grocery shopping as I am on stage. My life is a show! That doesn't mean I am always "on" or bouncing off the walls, mind you. Jackie Beat is the glamorous -- and sometimes really retarded -- heightened version of the real me. I mean, people are paying good money -- give them something they can't get anywhere else, right? But if all you can give them is cunty couture and bitchy beauty then you may as well be a still photograph: Glossy but flat. And who wants to look at that for more than just a few minutes?


If, within the first 30 seconds of my show, the electricity were to go out and there were no lights and no music, I might have a moment of panic, but you know what? After doing this as long as I have I can honestly say that I would take a deep breath, light a candle and do a show! I would do stand-up comedy, tell stories, sing acapella and venture into the audience to humiliate, er uh, I mean to TALK to people! And I honestly believe that Shangela (Shangie never really caught on, sorry) could do the same. The show must go on. Besides, I ain't giving those people their money back... Puh-lease!


So Shangela, keep your head up and please know that the most interesting performers NEVER win these competition reality shows. I have two words for you: Adam Lambert.


Halleloo!


I am Jackie Beat, and I approve this message!

38 comments:

  1. Love me some Shangela AND some Jackie Beat. And I would do her hair for her anytime because she has all the rest to make it work.
    xo
    Bobby Miller

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  2. Thank you, JBe. You expanded eloquently on the thoughts I had, which were, "But Shangela's the only one with any talent!" Two seasons of RuPaul's Drag Race, though, have shown that the least talented contestants tend to win. Looks like season 3 will be no different.

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  3. Ugh. I see your point about talent and you are very talented, but I was so glad to see Shangela go. She was such an instigator and always seemed to have the worst attitude. She can act, but so can a man - her actual drag was not great, even if her act was. She may be a drag superstar down the line - like you said, you can learn, as did you, but you probably wouldn't have said you were a Superstar back then either. You earned your way to the top. I don't see Shangela having done that yet.

    Now I am not saying the other queens are great representations of a Drag Superstar either, but they do have more experience and have lasted in the industry for a while. I have not seen a show by them, just the edited clips for Drag Race. Maybe their shows are amazing - maybe not.

    But I had to put the dissenting opinion here - I was VERY glad to see her go.

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  4. I am in total agreement here... but I have to say that some of her out fits have been Hot Qatar instead of Haute Couture!

    See, it'd be funny if she were middle eastern...

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  5. I love (and know) many of the queens on the show, but the proof is in the pudding (not the PUTTING on of the makeup!) -- look how Delta crashed and burned during Snatch Game. The bottom line is this: Can you do more than move your lips to a song? I do shows that are 90 minutes long -- singing live, doing comedy -- and these Drag Race girls breeze into town and lip sync one or two numbers and call it a show. I see great raw potential in Shangela as a REAL entertainer, not just some run-of-the-mill, strip mall drag queen.

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  6. Yes, your shows are amazing... I think for me, Shangela's attitude really killed it for me. From her facial expressions to her mean-spiritness - it took away from it. And for me, when your outfit is that tore up, I can't focus on everything else because I keep noticing how everything is so thrown together. So I agree, she has amazing potential to be great, but she's not there yet.

    Also, from the majority or drag shows I have seen - MOST drag queens just do lip sync. There are few amazing drag stars that are like you and break the mold and do tons more. You are what everyone aspires to be - but its not the easiest to get there...

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  7. Beauty isn't everything. While not a drag queen, Ernest Borgnine won an Oscar, was nominated for an Emmy at age 92, is still working, and has married five times.

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  8. Totally True JB! Thanks for that!

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  9. she booked michael patrick king's pilot this year. she'll be good. saw her trailer @ WB when i was at a fitting and even though it was a triple banger and not a single, i give props.
    p.s. Borgnine's only wife of merit is Tovah! she's everything with a red headed roller set.

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  10. I live for Tova Borgnine! I adore her perfume TOVA NIGHTS! As my drag daughter, The World Famous BOB, says, "It smells like rich people in the '80s!"

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  11. Shangelina had me with the toilet paper realness of episode 5. Gone but not forgotten #Tears

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  12. You are so right Jackie! I felt the same way about Shangela since the second season. She was always quick on the fly type chick, not "let me move a hip and an arm" type of performer. She was creative.

    I have always been a fan of comedic drag, over the top drag, etc. If you can bring a smile to my face, you did your job.

    Shangela was the underdog and was told to gtfo to soon. Look at S3, it would have been a flop without her. Most of the good queens leave early on that show.

    I have liked her since "Hello Somebody!" and still do!

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  13. Jackie, you nailed it right on the head!!! Shangela has talent, personality, sass, and [at least I can guess] a good heart. As a fan of hers, I appreciate a heavy hitter like yourself, with your crediibility, praising Shangela's craft and ability.

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  14. THANK YOU JACKIE!!

    Though most haters will trash Shangela for her so-called "game-playing" and "instigating", I actually respected her for being as being as open and honest as a contestant! But more importantly, she is a motherfucking entertainer w/ a VERY long career ahead of her! The fact that she's been on both stage and on TV in such a short period is a testament to her Force-of-Nature personality!!

    And BTW... you are soooo right about Delta. Caught her act recently in WeHo. Sad and boring.

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  15. Shangela is the bomb Grrs got charisma hell just look at her she wowed Wayne Brady Uniqueness -Halleloo. Nerve- Hell she busted out everyone Talent- a blind dead mute deaf corpse can even notice it Fierceness at it's finest you go Shangie next you need movie roles and the first ever cologne and perfume combo make that coin GRR

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  16. I don't like her cuz she's a loud mouth bitch. :D & she's irritating.

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  17. Shangella is fabulous indeed but I do question whether she really wants to be in drag or does she do it because gays only want to see other gays dressed as ladies?

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  18. I looovveedd Shangela on RuPauls Drag Race! Yes, she needed assistance with garments and makeup, but to be quite frank she was the only reason I watched the damn show faithfully! Keep your head up Shangela (Shangie) HALLELU!!

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  19. I love it!! and Shangela IS SICK-NING!! Ya heard! You said it Honey!!

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  20. I AGREE....SHANGELA IS A GREAT PERFORMER...AND NO ONE IS GREAT AT MAKE UP QUICK..SHE HAS IMPROVED...AND PRETTY CAN ONLY TAKE YOU SO FAR...BUT SHE IS AND WILL BE SICKENING <3

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  21. Whoever said it'd be funny if she were Middle Eastern, she actually is. Her father is Saudi.

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  22. Marc, you are just as ignorant as modern day Christians/Christians.

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  23. She is a good performer, and that is it. Sorry Jack believe it or not but you are pretty, funny, and can sing any other queen under the table!! shangela can be ghetto and loud and get a laugh sorry seen it queens of comedy. All im saying is I don't get the shangela craze, and if i hear halliu again im gonna scream!!!!!!

    Matthew Burton

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  24. well All right now, Halleloo!

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  25. Her stand up routine was great...she had personality! I cant stand Raja....I hope that bitch does NOT win!

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  26. I was glad to see Shangela go, she was irritating....I felt she was not qualified to come back. It was for TV drama....however, I do agree with you "Please know that the most interesting performers NEVER win these competition reality shows." you are right..... Shannel, Raven, Pandora, Juju,
    Ongina, Nina......these girls are talented....Shangela just starts drama and acts ghetto....no class.

    YOU however are stunning!

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  27. Shangela had a very bad attitude. She could not blend her make-up and she her outfits were ugly. She looked very amateurish next those glam queens. Considering this show is mostly about look, she was couldn't cut it. She was NOT funny in the Snatch Game as Tina Turner. Also I agree most drag shows the girls come out and sing, they don’t talk. She should stick to stand-up comedy and leave the drag behind. Sorry Jacks, we'll agree to disagree. I LOVE RAJA SHE MUST WIN!!!

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  28. Give me a mf break. She was the skankiest, least funny cunt on t.v. Add to that the fact that she couldn't style wigs and or put together an outfit and why the fuck should I watch her.

    You know who had some talent and got booted? Mimi Imfurst. But this Shangela (what kinda dumbass drag name is that?) with her goddamn Hideeho, or Hallelu or wtf, is just an stupid piece of trailer trash. Thank god she's gone. Raja is the most stylish and the smartest, but I hope Mimi comes back and fucks them all up.

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  29. I first was introduced to Ms. Beat in the movie Woodstock, then once the internet was available in my small town. I became a fan and was encouraged by the shared interest in entertaining. I may be a pretty fat drag queen, but the pageants don't interest me. It is the response from the crowd, no matter how small.
    RuPaul's Drag Race should make the queens perform every week. Being entertained is going to make me jump in the car and drive 2 hours to see one of the contestants.
    Last year I was finally able to catch a Jackie Beat show on a cruise, and with every performance, I brought back more of my friends, turning them into fans. I always act respectful as an audience member. No one wants a heckler who thinks they're funny. You are there for the show, to watch your star do their thing. DO you have any thoughts about that?

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  30. as someone actually attracted to drag queens, both shangela and carmen are ugly.
    raja is gorgeous as a boy and a queen.
    as someone extra attracted to drag queens with intelligence, shagela is a moron.
    how. the. fuck. does she not know 'heathers'[or Veronica], or how to blend/beat her face?!
    as someone who believes jackie beat is beautiful, brilliant and should be running her own drag tv show, i think she's wrong on this.
    shangela is the sarah palin of drag queens- inexperienced, delusional and most of what comes out of her is retarded.

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  31. Well, as they say, opinions are like assholes -- everyone's got one! But I want to make one thing very clear: I adore Delta Work and Raja! Both are seasoned professionals who have made me gag! Delta is one of the few "big girls" who is truly a flawless beauty and Raja is just plain sickening. I was merely pointing out that, when thrown a challenge that involves pulling personality out of thin air, Shangela always seemed to have something to offer. Was her Tina Turner brilliant? No, but I see real potential and raw talent. Also, anyone who is going to praise Mimi Imfurst and then, in the same sentence, make fun of Shangela's name is just stupid. Oh, the irony! I guess my point is this: Underneath all the drag, in my opinion, Shangela is the contestant who is the most naturally entertaining and has the most potential to be more than a rent-a-clown who does a number or two on Lady Gaga night at some gay bar in Bumfuck called Loadz!

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  32. Amazing article girl. Loved the comments and if the electricity went off, then I would give them show too!! :)

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  33. entertaining squirmish

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  34. honey Bumfuck gay bars pay your mortgage

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  35. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  36. I think Shangela is so talented and very entertaining, however-a "look" is important. It doesn't have to be GaGa or Pageant crap drag. I hope in the future when someone tries to help her with that area-as Raja tried-she is grateful and puts as much effort into cultivating it so she can be the whole package. And I hope she NEVER wears boobsforqueens.com. That's boobsforqueens.com

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